Thank you John
Wednesday, 07-Jun-2000 13:47:37

The oupouring, confessions, tesifying, anger, tears, joy and love on this board has been awakening. I bow before all. But amidst all, my own posts included, I want to thank you John for the great things in my life. You introduced me to Christa, my wife. Through your attracting this rag-tag group of exhippies, spiritual vagabonds, space cadets, lords and ladies, I met an Angel who for the last twelve years has filled my heart with joy continually.

Through your charismatic-ways I met and married one of the clearest, stronges,t most loving beings I've ever known. And not only that.We live in Los Angeles and have friends and family that humble me in their brilliance and love. We both consider the community we live in here, a great many of whom came out of the Santa Cruz days, to be the Rock upon which our life-success springs. Recently we celebrated Christa's birthday with a big party. Looking around the circle, feeling that these folks are my Family brought tears to my eyes. We are close, many of us. maybe it took going through the "Panama experience" which binds us in ways only foxhole buddies can understand, but I think it's more. Not to sound like a spiritual elitist, which I am not, but the quality and freedom of this bunch is sublime.

I thank you for all my brothers and sisters who I do not see nearly enough. To read words from Margo, Grace Thomas, Janie, and many othes whose voice I recognize. God I love you all so much. I truly do. Always have, always will. It's what kept me around, however casually, for so long after I recognized the cult-set of the group. I look forward to my occasional 4th of July Mt.Shasta visits (this year included) to see friends I miss.

And John, I thank you for creating the community where I met Candace, my dearest Sister, and allowing me to have three little angels as my nieces who I love more than words can express.

I'm crying as I write this. I'm so sorry for all who have been hurt so badly. I want to erase all the pain if I could. I didn't think this much harm happened, other than to those who lost fortunes. I was oblivious (what else is new) to the more hidden workings. I wish I was stronger at the time.

I was lucky. Being a man, and having already had a cult experience, I was more dettached than many.I loved John, but never surrendered. So my memories are mostly positive , of the friends and life-mates I made. I would not trade a minute if it meant not meeting any of you. I know I will not grow old alone. I know I will have great, deep friends for ever. And I look so forward to all we will create together.

So keep the truth flowing. But let's not forget what's reaaly important. And John, I don't envy you if you ever read this board, it will have to hurt, But know, you were the catalyst of some good and shining moments, which are recorded and are known.
Love with all my heart and Soul.

tommy a. (dharma bum)